[I pulled out the following essay, which I wrote for my Accountability newsletter during the winter, when I was in the depths of trying to finish the Story Grid Edition of Frankenstein. I re-read it, and decided that even though it's only been a few months since I sent this out to my readers, perhaps these words are worth posting on my blog. I added a couple of sentences at the beginning but otherwise it's pretty much as it was in the newsletter.]
I've had a pretty tough spring, as far as writing goes. Looking back on it, I realize the extent to which I was blindsided by Life. There was nothing I could have done about all the things that were thrown my way, but I was still frazzled, frustrated, and stressed.
There were just too many appointments and too many deadlines that weren't about my writing, not to mention a few bona fide disasters that had nothing to do with me, but which I needed to clean up.
I think every single one of us has had this happen–just with our own unique assortment of must-do tasks. I suspect that we all have felt the same sick, stressed feeling in our chests (or stomachs or heads) as we go about our business, upset and resentful that we aren't doing what we know we need to do for our writing.
When I foresee a crazy week ahead of me, I immediately go into “mood management” mode, which for me involves the following:
- BE HONEST. What's inescapable? What am I stuck doing whether I like it or not, where no one can help me because I have to do it myself? If you can ask for help or pass the buck, do it to try to create space in your life right now. For example, I asked someone to pick up some groceries for me. But otherwise, face the music. You can't pass the buck on everything, so just look honestly at the things that you, yourself, need to do. Hiding isn't going to help you to plan.
- Acknowledge that this will be a week filled with “good enough” writing. You might write fewer words, you might write crap, you might be late on your deadline. This is actually good practice, because this situation will happen again, and you still need to write–be okay with the amount and quality of your work.
- Live in the moment. If you have a meditation practice, if you are an athlete or performer, if you like playing with small children–this will be familiar to you. Bring your mind back as often as you can to what you are doing right now. You really can't predict the next moment of your life, never mind tomorrow or next week. Just do your best with the thing right in front of you and move forward that way. You are going to get through this week and you will get things done.
- Remember that your actions are evidence of who you are. The things you do are the things that matter to you. If you're a writer, you need to write. If you're a parent, you should parent. If you're a corporate soldier, you have things to do and people to please. Whatever you decide to do is the thing that you care about. If you have to drop or ignore something, just realize that you are making a choice, and the choice should reflect your principles. I will drop writing before I drop parenting. Most people will drop writing before they abandon earning a living. It's all good. Hold your head up high and live with your choices.
- Mood management. It's a lot easier to get through the things you have to do when you are feeling good. What gets your mood up? Exercise? Chocolate? Music? Make it happen. In my case, I'm going to play a lot of music that I love, watch some shows while I'm on the elliptical, and read some fiction.
But guess what. I'm still a writer and hell or high water, I'm going to write. I've got chapters that need to get written and some editing that I promised to do. I'm also finishing up the Story Grid Edition of Frankenstein and trying to get all the “extras” done before my deadline rolls around later this month. The single most helpful thing on this entire list (for me) is MOOD MANAGEMENT. Stay happy at all costs. Avoid toxic people (as best as you can). Focus on who you are, not the results. As one of my favorite meditation gurus likes to say, the only thing you can control is your attitude. I'm going to hang onto those words this week.
Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash
